• Mon. Sep 25th, 2023

Japan Subculture Research Center

A guide to the Japanese underworld, Japanese pop-culture, yakuza and everything dark under the sun.

Usually I try to avoid self-help relationship books like Hepatitis B but the title to this is sort of catchy: 21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck (なぜ日本にはいい男がいないのか 21の理由)

So I picked it up, said yes to writing the review and then the truth sank in: never mind the sucking Japanese men, the book itself is a D.O.A. (Dead On Arrival)

Anything with “21” in the title tells you most of what you need to know about the author, starting with such fundamentals as: 1) He’s probably between 45 and 60 and a lot of his ideas are stuck in the 20th century. 2) He’s probably a he and not a she, so what does he know about how men suck? 3) In 1999, he probably deployed the phrase Y2K more than 500 times in public. Before even cracking open the spine, I feel acute embarassment trickling over me like a faulty showerhead – not just for the author Tomonori Morikawa but for myself, the Japanese publishing industry and the Japanese dating scene in general. If we had all pulled ourselves together before the arrival of the um, century 21, we wouldn’t be floating around in this mess of 21 reasons.

21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck/なぜ日本にはいい男がいないのか-21の理由-
21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck/なぜ日本にはいい男がいないのか-21の理由. Japanese women get blamed too.


On the other hand, Mr. Morikawa (58) undoubtedly means well. His good intentions ooze from the pages as does his impressive academic resume (ph.D in political science, graudate from Waseda University and post graduate stints at prestigious US universities etc.). Professor Morikawa now resides and teaches in Oregon. Judging by his back cover photo, he probably bicycles to work, shops organic and his “omiyage (coming-home gift)” of choice on the occasions he returns to Japan are packets of Stumptown coffee. Nice guy, really and most likely an ace political scientist, which is his special field. But when it comes to the relationship issue in post-3.11 Japan, I regret to have to say that the Professor is sadly uninformed and out of his depth. The book is divided into 3 chapters: “It’s the Fault of the Times,” “It’s the Fault of the Men,” and finally “It’s the Fault of the Women.” Clearly, Mr. Morikawa feels that someone or something should take the rap for this sorry state of affairs (no pun intended) but falls short of pointing a decisive finger. In another two decades, 60% of the men in this country could spend their entire lives solo, dying without ever having had a relationship, and Mr. Morikawa (for all his provocative title) doesn’t seem very upset about it. And if he’s waist high in bikini-ed women clamoring for his attention out there in Oregon, he’s certainly keep that under wraps.

“21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck” is written from the viewpoint of a Showa era (1925-1989) man, whose cultural and relationship reference points are mostly western. One of the salient points about “21 Reasons…” is the uncomfortable frequency of the phrase “in Europe and the US” – Mr. Morikawa obviously holds the western standard as sacrosanct, and ignores people like the Chinese, Indians and Africans – now a demographic and economic force to be reckoned with. Among the 21 reasons, he sites that the typical single Japanese male can’t kiss, smells bad and eats too much garlic. Elsewhere on the globe kissing is considered weird, disgusting and inappropriate, and many Turkish women for instance, actually prefer garlic breath. As for the male aroma issue, Mr. Morikawa should try riding on a Moscow subway in July.

The big problem with “21 Reasons…” is that, like a true Show-era “ojisan (uncle)” Mr. Morikawa tries to link a heavily political issue (Japan’s alarming birth rate decline) to the personal and intimate terrain of dating and sex. That such a pipeline does NOT work has been demonstrated by countless Japanese women being totally turned off by countless old-men politicans endorsing sex and pregnancy like it was the 1940s (one of the government slogans of that dark period was: “Bear children and multiply!”). None of those politicians including our present PM, never seem to get that it takes two to make babies and a lot of Japanese men are simply not interested, not ready or ill-equipped to make that sort of commitment. Mr. Morikawa at least, refrains from pinning the blame entirely on the women, but he does preach that once a woman hits 20, her marketability points go way down, along with her chances of encountering a non-smelly/good kisser who’s willing to get married and live happily ever after. According to Mr. Morikawa’s estimate, “Prince Charming on a white horse” comes around only once every 5000-plus new meet-ups. So if a woman had a blind date every single day for 14 years after her 20th birthday, she would be hitting the jackpot sometime after age 34? Gee, thanks for nothing.

The overall tone of “21 Reasons…” is pitched somewhere between midly condescending and mildly concerned – which could get intensely annoying after page 10. While professing to admonish the men by pulling his main conclusions exclusively from interviews with Japanese women locked in various stages of disappointment and frustration, Mr. Morikawa frequently slips on his own banana peels by strewing outdated stereotypical statements to explain the J-Men-Sucks phenomenon: “Japanese women just sit around and wait for a Prince Charming on a white horse to come along. Do they realize the odds of that ever happening?” “It’s imperative for Japanese men to get into good universities to ensure their futures. But it’s not so important for a Japanese woman to over-educate herself.” “Women need to play hard to get, in order to nab a desirable man. Look at the examples of Ginza bar hostesses.” In short, huge chunks of the book are not devoted to analyzing the problems proffered by the title, but given over to entitled, chauvinistic statements urging women to go out there and make themselves available.

Mr. Morikawa does make a sound observation, albeit not a very helpful one: that 10,000 years ago in the Jomon Period, Japanese couples got married at 14, had their first child at 15 and died off at 30. Even in the Edo Period, it was a huge deal if people lived past 45. Until the 1950s, he writes, couples were obligated to spend roughly 15 years together. Now the marriage years form a long, long stretch, compounded by the fact that the Japanese now live for a colossaly long time. “It’s impossible to keep loving the same man for so long,” he sighs. Duh.

So what to do? Make your body odor more acceptable and lay off the cheap booze, advises Mr. Morikawa. Otherwise, the professor doesn’t seem to have a clue.


Kaori Shoji writes about movies and movie-makers for The Japan Times and is also a writer for theInternational Herald Tribune and other publications. Well known for her sharp wit, some have likened her to “the Dorothy Parker of Japan.

Kaori Shoji

Kaori Shoji is a film critic for the Japan Times and write about fashion and society as well. 欧米の出版物に記事を執筆するフリーランス・ジャーナリスト。The Japan Times、The International Herald Tribune、Zoo Magazineへ定期的に記事を寄稿している。

15 thoughts on “21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck (A Book Review) by Ms. Kaori Shoji”
  1. This review would have been a lot more useful and interesting if you’d actually explained why the author thinks Japanese men suck and listed off the main reasons. After reading this I feel like I don’t know a thing about it, aside from the fact you think the author is a clueless, out-of-touch old professor.

    1. Well, you could always try reading the book. I think she covers the basics of his arguments. Which she doesn’t find enlightening.

      1. I agree with dtb. The point of a book review is to get a good enough summary to decide if you want to read the rest of it. Shoji has written the issues with the the author and the historical circumstances surrounding the book. What kind of book review says “well, you could always try reading the book to find the author’s main points”? This is not a good book review, but it is a good ad hominem rant.

    2. My thoughts exactly.

      Fore example, why would Japanese men be compared to the men of China (or any other Asian country), Indian and Africa rather than men from N. American or Europe? Does she somehow think this will show Japanese men aren’t all that bad? Of course Japanese men will be compared to their counterparts in the West as Western nations enjoy much greater sexual equality than Japan, who shows poorly in world comparisons, down there with, yep, other East Asian, South Asian and African nations.

      All the reviewer did was decide what kind of person the author may be without offering any critical analysis of his points.

      If the book was worth a review, at least do a decent job.

  2. Actually, it’s a terrific piece – funny, articulate, opinionated; everything a review should be. And even without telling the details Kaori’s review is more than enough to make clear that the book is a dud.

    1. David,
      Well put. I’ve always felt her reviews are more like an amusing polemic rather than a straight review and are enjoyable pieces in their own right. Which is why I keep asking her to write for us.

  3. This review sucks. This topic sucks. This site sucks.
    I suck. You suck. We all suck.
    Life sucks. Death sucks.
    Japan sucks. Everywhere sucks.
    Being trapped in dark cynical egoistic self-serving pandering narrow minds defending and offending, sucks.
    Writing sucks. Editing sucks. Commenting sucks. Trolling sucks. Thinking sucks. Analyzing sucks. Being correct sucks. Being wrong sucks.
    Start living, people. Go hiking. Surfing. Salsa dancing. Lay down on a beach. Float on your back. Do somersaults and handstands and cartwheels. Travel. Discover new lands, old worlds. Learn new languages. Make new friends. Start new hobbies. Break old habits.
    Get out of the Japan Black Hole Mind-Melt

    1. Yes. A life of the mind is bad, bad, bad.

      I think you got more excited about this book review (without actually commenting about it) than anyone else.

      I hope you don’t have problems getting your prescription(s) filled in Japan.

  4. Jeffrey, obviously my stream of consciousness writing is not for you. My homegrown herbs and vegetables are the only “prescription” I need, thank you very much.
    My point is that talented bilingual writers such as Kaori can do so much more than writing about books like that. I didn’t even bother to read the review, though I generally like her work. I got bored of the topic in 1995. All of us need to open our minds and discover new issues.

  5. Is “Japanese men suck” a good translation of what is more directly translated as “there are no good men in Japan”?

  6. […] For those of you who aren’t quite fluent in Japanese yet, the title of that book is 21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck. I’ll pause for a moment while you let that really eat at your soul, causing your very blood to boil and the urge to take up Viking-style weapons overtake you. Feel better yet? (NOTE: an awesome angry book review of that book is available HERE) […]

  7. Good book review. Great point that Japan is too often compared to Europe and the U.S., while ignoring the rest of the world.

    Also, trying to find a list of reasons why anything sucks seems guaranteed to tell exactly half the story. There’s always a list of good things as well. Okay, maybe not 21, but still.

  8. I rarely write remarks, however I browsed a few of the comments
    on this page 21 Reasons Why Japanese Men Suck (A Book Review) by Ms.
    Kaori Shoji : Japan Subculture Research Center. I actually do have a couple of questions for you if it’s okay.
    Is it only me or do a few of the responses appear as if they are written by brain dead people?
    😛 And, if you are writing on additional social sites, I’d
    like to keep up with anything new you have to post.
    Would you make a list of all of all your social community
    pages like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *